Why would anyone in their right mind buy grapes with seeds when the convenience of a seedless grape is right there?

Google Maps can skip a few steps when giving me directions. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

"I believe in luck: how else can you explain the success of those you don't like?"

How to avoid making mistakes:

learn from the mistakes of others who take your advice.

Monday mornings shouldn't start until noon.

The renovation of Dora continues...

I ordered her new Full-Size bed, headboard, & 12" Spa Sensations Theratouch Memory Foam mattress today.

Apparently the girl is optional.....

Just remember, when you’re feeling down: You were that ONE sperm that won the race.

The renovation of Dora begins......Goodbye twin beds.

If i was a zookeeper, just to mess with people, I wouldn't put the chameleon in the chameleon exhibit.

People with a lot of money are miserable. Or so I've heard.

I'm kinda ashamed of what I did one time for a Klondike bar.

I hope someday to be the last man on earth. I want see if all those women were lying to me.

I have found that the best stress reliever in life is not giving a crap.

Just had lunch. This concludes everything I had planned for today.

There is a rumor here at work that this morning they are gonna take away someone's Blackberr

It feels SO GOOD to get things accomplished. Or at least I imagine it does. Do something and tell me what it's like.

Here we go again.........

Was going to write a meaningful new blog post, filled with deep, thoughtful sentiments, and wisdom,... but screw that.

When I see people outside, smoking in freezing temperatures, it makes me wonder what else I can get them to do.

Today's Weather Forcast...Blizzard conditions possible 2 FEET of Snow!!! ......Why did I come back from Arizona again???